Great White Whale

Beached.

That’s pretty much how I’ve been feeling as of late….like a big ol’ beached whale.  I am so uncomfortable in bed.  I can barely roll over.  My hips and legs hurt after a couple hours or so of sleep.  Getting up from bed or just getting up from the couch requires lots of thought, effort and grunts.  I have trouble getting up from the floor which makes playing with Bug and giving him a bath incredibly hard.  Plus, I’m stiff when I get  up and since baby fidget is super low, I’m getting a ton of pain down low.  I’m hoping this pain is helping with effacement and dilation…fingers crossed…

I’ve had 2 dramatic hormone induced meltdowns in the past 2 days because of this.  I’m just so ready to be done with this pregnancy.   In all honesty, I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the baby kick and squirm (so long as he’s not hurting me, which is far too frequent for my taste lately).  I’m just getting tired of the whole thing and want to hold him in my arms, hear his little cry and for Bug to be an awesome big brother!  I still say my pop-up timer has popped (belly button) and I AM DONE!  lol

I’m just at the stage where everything hurts and it feels like I’m going to be pregnant forever.  I know this is totally impossible, but it’s how I feel.  Add to it, the fact that I feel like my doctors are going to just let me go on and on without doing anything.  I know that I can’t be induced or have cervical ripening agents used because of the prior c-section and the risk of uterine rupture, but last week the doctor didn’t even want me to schedule the c-section.

My other issue for wanting to schedule the c-section is that I don’t want to go overdue again knowing that often times 2nd babies are bigger than first ones.  Bug was 9lbs 13oz at 2 weeks overdue (had he been born on time he may have only been 9lbs) and seeing as baby Fidget was 7lbs 12oz according to the ultrasound last week he’s probably just over 8lbs now (probably 8lbs 3oz) I don’t want to run the risk of having to attempt the delivery of another near 10lb baby at 2 weeks overdue…why should I be tortured.  Plus, if we continue to wait, my window of opportunity for a VBAC decreases significantly.  I said anything under 8.5lbs I would give it a go for the VBAC, but as time passes, his weight increases daily and my max weight gets closer and closer.  By my due date he could be 8lbs 13oz and if I go 2 weeks overdue again he can be close to 9lbs 12oz or more.  I know that the ultrasound was just a guess and he could be much smaller  than what I was quoted (say 6lbs), but it just makes me incredibly nervous that I could labor for hours and push, push, push and not get anywhere because he’s too big to come out…I just want to have a plan in place…I guess I rather have the surgery than feel like I wasted everyone’s time laboring when I’m just going to have a c-section anyway…Way to be optimistic, huh?

I do have my 39 week check-up tomorrow (38w6d) and I think I’m going to be adamant about scheduling the c-section.  Plus, there are so many people in Darling Hubby’s family that have May birthdays that I don’t really want baby Fidget to have to share unless he decides to come on his own that day.  Tomorrow is a bad day as it’s our nephew CJ’s birthday…the 19th is Shell’s birthday(my actual due date), the 22nd is our nephew D’s birthday (his mom already told me I can’t have him on that day)…plus, there are various uncles and random people in the days following.  I’m really hoping to schedule the section for the 17th (I love 7’s) as it doesn’t correspond to anyone elses birthday.

Until then, I’ll continue to feel like a beached whale…and I’m sure I’ll probably have a least a couple more melt downs about it…hopefully tomorrow I will get a date scheduled for a c-section so I can have a plan in place…I’m still just hoping that my water will break and I’ll go in to the hospital at 5cm’s dilated like Dr. Vu wants and have a small bouncing baby boy in a few hours without a ton of pain…I’m probably not being realistic, but I can still hope, right?

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One thought on “Great White Whale

  1. If you can still get one, one of those Temperpedic overlays did wonders for my hips!!! That pinpoint on the hip bone that all the weight sits on was spread out over the whole thigh to waist area, and it was such a relief from that morning discomfort!!!!!! Hang in there kiddo, you’re almost “done”! 😀

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