Soy Free Update

So I’m still sticking with the soy free diet and things are going swimmingly.  I’ve had a few run-ins with some natural flavoring and some issues with butter, but aside from that, I’ve been feeling great!  My moods are still better, I’m clearer headed, and my heart palpitations have declined greatly…My weight has stabilized at around 135lbs (I’m only about 15lbs heavier than I was at my high school graduation).  I’ve also found a few friends who are possibly in the same boat with soy who are joining me on the soy free experiment bandwagon.  Not that I want someone to have a food allergy, but it feels good to not be alone and it feels good to be able to help someone else out.

I’ve also had some run-ins with some well meaning friends who, in a push to be helpful, practically cornered me (or so it felt) on my facebook page and were cramming the whole “gloom and doom, get to a doctor NOW!” stuff down my throat.  I did take a stand and asked them nicely to back off as I was feeling pretty bullied and yelled at and they turned around, kicked it up a notch and pretty much lambasted me for posting about my “ailments” and told me that I shouldn’t post if I didn’t want the comments.   Basically a blame the victim kinda thing.   “Well, she asked for it!”  I wonder if I should start commenting on my friends statuses who always talk about drinking/partying/getting wasted and ask if they need to go to an AA meeting.  Apparently, I post about my health too much and that warrants an inquisition about why I won’t see a doctor.  Maybe those drinking statuses are a cry for an alcoholic intervention…It’s the pot calling the kettle black, really.  In hindsight, I made the mistake of posting about my health on my wall and I’m not going to do that anymore.  Lesson learned.  Oh, and I’m sure I just pissed someone off… 🙂

I’m one of those stereotypical facebookers who post about exactly what they are doing/feeling, etc.  I don’t do it to get comments or pity.  I’m not a troll.  I just put stuff out there.  Most of the time my posts revolve around my knitting or housework and what I’ve accomplished or plan to accomplish for the day.  Same for this blog.  I just write and if my day to day stuff and experiences help others, great, if someone comes here and can offer help to me, even better.  I’m not just posting to get people to visit my blog.  Do I like to see my blog stats go up, yes, because I can only hope that my blog has been, in some way, helpful to those visitors.  I just feel like I’ve lost an outlet for my thoughts.

Anyway, I’ve learned a few more things though trial and error. Most of the teas in my cupboard contain soy lecithin or natural flavors.  I’m down to 2-3 boxes out of the like 8 that are in there.  I’m bummed because I can no longer have the buffalo wing sauce that’s in my fridge.  I love buffalo wings and spicy stuff…Also, antacids contain natural flavors and have a tendency to make my stomach hurt and my heart pound on top of the indigestion….yeah, won’t make that mistake again.  lol  I’ve learned that benedryl helps if I have accidentally eaten something with soy or butter.  Good to know!  I’ve also learned that the hand lotion I’ve been using contains soybean oil.  Nice.  At least I know that it’s not a contact allergy/sensitivity.  I’ve been using the lotion every day since I’ve cut out eating soy and I haven’t noticed any ill feelings or rashes.  I am going to find a soy free lotion as I have terribly dry hands in the winter and I have to put lotion on regularly or my hands will crack and bleed.  I’m slightly germophobic, so I’m always washing my hands and that doesn’t help the dryness.

At some point I have to post about my knitting and Bug’s birthday and birthday party from this past weekend.  I also plan to post about the soy free strawberry cake from scratch that I made…though this cake ended up bothering me…probably from the butter – it used 2 sticks!   I know it wasn’t the homemade meringue frosting as the night before the party I was eating it while decorating the cake and I was fine.  Either way, the cake was delicious, despite it’s density (it was more fudge brownie like than cake like) and the fact that it made my stomach hurt.

So, that’s the update for this week.  I’m continuing to improve and I’m happy about that.  Yay for good things!

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6 thoughts on “Soy Free Update

  1. I’m really proud of the fact that you held your ground. I’ve had a hard time standing up to people who believe that they know what’s best for my health, so I know how difficult it had to be for you. That said, I don’t know you as well as some of the other people who were trying to help, and I had figured out that you pretty much wrote in a stream of consciousness style. You weren’t complaining so much as noting things. I have friends who write that way, some who only post major events, some who just play games, and others who use Facebook as a photo album to share with family and such. I’m torn between the fact that it’s your page and you should be able to say what you want to say and the fact that what you say on Facebook is like saying it in a room full of the people on your friends list. You weren’t saying anything inflammatory, and you were only talking about yourself. I personally use Facebook to try to point out what is good about my life, and what I actually can do, given that I have so many limitations. That upset a friend of mine because she saw me posting about all these things I was doing, and didn’t understand why I couldn’t bring myself to come see her (she lives and hour away). What she didn’t know is that I deliberately didn’t mention my degree of involvement because it felt better to say “I helped Michael install a fan” than to say “I had to lie down and could only barely read the instructions aloud as my husband installed a fan.”

    Anyway, I’m so glad that you’re getting healthier. I hope you can sort out your food allergies. I hope that maybe one day they will go away, even. Keep at it!

    • I sent a reply via email, but I’m not sure why it didn’t show up here…anyway, this is what I wrote:

      Yes, I am very literal when I write (I’m really good at writing technical manuals – lol) and stream of conscience is a great way to describe my facebook posts. I think about what I’m going to do or have done and I make note of that. Unfortunately, that apparently urks some people, but that’s really just how I am. Some out there appreciate it, but I guess not everyone. I can’t please them all.

      As for you not knowing me as well as the people who were commenting, that’s not true. I think you actually know me better than they do. Most of the people (esp the ones who defriended me) are part of my baby board. We all have babies born in January 2005 or there abouts. Some of the people I barely talk to…much less know their Jan babies names anymore. They are just kinda on the list, which is sad. A true friend (and I had some come to me on the side to talk rather than air dirty laundry on my wall) would have backed off when I asked…some of the girls were like dogs with bones…one is a former lawyer, so I’m probably the guilty party no matter what.

      Oh, and for the record, I looked up the definition of the word bully and it’s anyone who is “habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people” or to “treat in an overbearing or intimidating way.” While they weren’t being cruel or intending to be cruel, they were, at least I feel, trying to intimidate me into seeing a doctor. It’s like they were trying to use pushy peer pressure to go see a doctor. One friend put it well…they were snarky after I asked them to stop. That’s not ok.

      And you are right about not saying things in a room full of people. I hate confrontation and saying what I said in the blog post was tough, but it needed to be said. On facebook I never said anything mean or negative about anyone and all my status updates revolved around me (they are my status’ after all! lol). I never pulled anyone else in, there was no bad mouthing, no accusations. Pretty much all my updates were things that I’d talk to friends about, at least good friends who won’t judge. I just don’t appreciate being attacked. I liked the way you approached me, off wall, and offered me advice and basically told me I could take it or leave it, but you felt you should tell me things. You weren’t trying to scare me or push me into anything. You just laid it out there and was nice about it. Thank you for that!

      I guess if they had approached me differently it wouldn’t have set off alarms for me. I was picked on a lot growing up and I let people walk all over me, like a doormat (to quote a friend from today). I’m done being pushed around and told what to do. I’m a grown adult and can make my own decisions. If people come to me in a gentle tone saying, “hey, I know you don’t want to, but I’m really concerned and think you need to see a doctor.” I would appreciate the concern and say thanks, but I’m ok, I’m still looking, I’m just not going yet…it’s different when someone is going on about “you need to see a doctor now!, get to a doctor now!” and essentially telling me what to do. There’s a difference between genuine concern and a demand. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar…

      Anyway, I’m letting it all go. If people want to be all pissed at me and defriend me because I felt they were being overbearing then so be it. True friends know what to say, when to say it and when to back off…I know who my true friends are. Gives me an excuse to clear out my friend list…

  2. Since you continue to discuss me, you leave me no choice but to respond. 1) it’s IRKS, not urks; 2) there was no dirty laundry to air, at least not on MY part. You, apparently, had a bone to pick and chose to do it from the relative seclusion of your blog; 3) speaking of bones, referring to us as dogs with bones is misguided. I suppose not being aware of your “stream of consciousness” form of posting, one would think your constant complaining of ailments was part of an actual dialog, a give and take. Understanding now that your posting is ALL ABOUT YOU, and not about any interaction with other people, I can see that any advice, no matter how well intended, would be misconstrued; 4) I’m not a former lawyer, I AM a lawyer; 5) I’m sorry you see yourself as a smaller and weaker person, but that’s your issue, not mine; 6) I’m sorry you were picked on a lot growing up, but maybe you should consider that your past experience has colored your interpretation of the events that transpired, vis a vis being “bullied.”; 7) I didn’t unfriend you because I’m pissed, I unfriended you because, although you never bother to comment on any of my status updates, you certainly felt free to make allusions in a judgmental manner in your blog post bully diatribe. 8) I completely agree that “true friends” will understand where you are coming from, and anyone else is just static. Consider me content to be part of your detritus.

  3. Oh, and I’m sure you’re as tired of this whole thing as I am. So maybe if we can agree to disagree on what happened, and you can stop making veiled references to me whereby you wrongly call me a bully, snarky, and whatever else, we can just be done here.

    • If you’d like me to get snarky I can be snarky, too. Should I take the stand and say an oath or something, Mrs. Lawyer? Do you have a bible? I’m sorry I though you quit your lawyer gig to be a stay at home mom with the rest of us homemakers. I’m truly sorry if I was mistaken.

      As for my dogs with bones comment, it’s true. Ever try to take a dog’s bone or food away when it’s not done with it. They go after you…that’s pretty much what you did. I asked you to stop pushing and you kept going. You weren’t done telling me what a bad person I was for not taking your advice so you kept going. That’s when it really became an issue. It all should have stopped when I asked you to stop. If the roles were reversed and you asked me to back off I would have said “I’m sorry” and that would have been that.

      And for the record, the reference to drinking problems was not directed at you. I see so many of my friends, both Common Ground girls, high school, close friends, and even family talking about drinking (“I need wine! Going to the bar drinkin’! After the day I’ve had I need a drink!” that the AA comment was just a general statement. I could also make statements about all the sports fans and gamers based on the number of sports and gaming references I see on my wall. It was like a horoscope. It applies to practically every person on my friends list, but apparently I hit a little too close to home for you.

      I honestly don’t care why you defriended me, but it seems it was the best decision for everyone. And I never had anything I felt was worth while to say on any of your status updates. It’s not that I never read them, I did, I just didn’t have anything to add to the conversation. We run in different very circles, Caitlin, so your likes and dislikes are different from mine. You are the big shot city girl lawyer and I’m just the little country girl homemaker, We had very different upbringings and education and very different home lives. The only thing that really kept us “friends” was our January Baby. Maybe this was just a long time coming.

      It’s all water under the bridge, now. You can stay away from me and mine and I’ll do the same for you and yours. I’m going to ask you nicely, just like I did on my wall, to please back off. I do not require, request, or desire a response. It’s over. I won’t mention you anymore and you don’t mention me. You are out of my life and I’m good with that. Any further comments from you (or any of your friends trying to IRK me) will be deleted and marked as spam. Feel free to go badmouth me to your circle of friends now. I’m done.

  4. If I am not mistaken, your Facebook page and blogs are yours. It is a forum for you to express yourself and talk about what’s going on in your life. Why should you feel like you have to censor yourself because some people can’t take the hint and back off? Your true friends want to know what is going on, or else they wouldn’t friend you on Facebook and follow your posts.

    I hope you feel free to continue to post and blog as you have and don’t let these people bully you into not. Tell us about your good and bad, ask advice or just gripe. If someone doesn’t care to read about the bad, then they don’t have to. It’s true that constant negative posts can be a downer, but that’s not you at all. Anyone who cares a lick about you know that’s the truth.

    I commend you for taking a stand. As a friend, I should respect your wishes when you make a request. If I’m just going to ignore it and then start calling you names, then I would expect that you would want nothing more to do with me.

    Its amazing, but you must have hit the nail on the head if you don’t name names, yet they are so worked up that they have to come back at you. Had it not been true, then they wouldn’t have felt the need to defend themselves.

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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